Saturday, June 30, 2012

"Let the Lassie Play"

Finally, a normal marathon Saturday!  This week has been incredibly frustrating weather-wise.  I learned, once again, that the weather forecast here is completely arbitrary.  Take Thursday, for example: there was an 100% chance of rain all day.  It rained for about four minutes midday, and that was it.  But I didn't go out because I was so sure the rain was going to start!  And thunderstorms, too!  That was an important lesson; make these decisions through the window, not the internet.  It's bad for morale; I didn't go out Friday either for the same reason, but rather than celebrating when it was dry in order to busk I celebrated when it actually did rain to justify NOT going out.  This could not go on.  I decided to get up and go on Saturday, regardless of weather.  I would bring an umbrella and a book.

Luckily it was nice when I got up, so I sped through my morning routine and headed to the Farmers' Market.  It had been a while!  Lovely as always, got my usual spot next to Seriously Good Venison, and George was back in town!  As I promised I would in the last post, I went back to just accordion today.  For the most part I was quite happy with it, sounding better, more relaxed and able to focus on performance and stuff.  But after three months of using percussion I was more in tune with my rhythms, and gave my left hand more rhythm duties.

Anyway...

Saturday 30 June, 2012, Part I

1. Little boy walked by.  I smiled at him, and he gave me this wonderful smile that looked SO fake.  I don't think it was, but it was comically forced-looking.  Like Sascha Baron Cohen in "Hugo," you know?

2.  The big even was a run-in with an angry homeless guy.  He came up, yelling, about how I was taking all his money.  Accused me of raking it in.  I made the mistake of telling him I need to make my money as well.  That's true, since it's time to pay rent, but my "student loans" sign is hardly subtle.  That set him off, proclaiming to everyone within a mile radius that I'm making money for a student loan.  The assumption here is that the sign means I'm currently a student, but I didn't feel like it would help to stop him and tell him that the student bit is done, now it's just the debt bit.  I offered to move to the other end if it was free, but he couldn't hear this suggestion because he was right in my face, repeating at a high volume about my student loan, and yelling something else that would have been quite dramatic had I been able to understand it.  Heads were turning.  One nice guy intervened, telling him to "Let the lassie play."  I was going to just ignore him and keep playing, but I wanted him to hear my offer to move so we could live in peace.  Kat talked to him briefly (I assume, due to her occupation, that she used to be homeless), and then Tommy who is in charge of the market came over and subdued him before he stormed off.  Informed me that this guy is here all the time (he claims he hasn't missed a week in six years, then why haven't I pissed him off before?), and instructed me to holler for him if he gives me trouble again.  The truth is that I do feel bad; I simply hadn't seen him!  If I had, I would have just gone to the other side to start.  Kat gave me her thoughts on him as well, of which I naturally understood 20%, but the gist was that that is what alcohol does to a person.  Apparently the commotion messed up Kat's business as well.


3.  An older woman was on a bench, and she came up to say, "You're doing beautiful, I'm enjoying it."  Perfect timing, because I was wondering how I sounded with just accordion after so long!  It sounded so naked.

5. A family was sitting nearby.  It didn't seem like they were listening, but an older kid, a boy (11 or 12) came by to tip and said, "Very well done, it's brilliant!"  Love getting unprompted compliments from kids!

6. I had arranged "The Final Countdown" for accordion and kazoo, so today I was working on doing in on just accordion.  One thing I tried that I like is doing the instrument bit in the high register, then doing one of those piano key slide things all the way down to the lower D to do the vocal melody.  Fun!  Unless I miss, which I did often.

7.  There was a great few minutes with a ton of kids.  First was Clara, my favorite who you've heard about, and her dad.  She dances along, and was eating her burger.  Then a friend of hers showed up, who I've seen before, a little blonde girl.  She is just such a tiny human being!  She really looks like she could be an older kid, or an adult for that matter, but her body is just so little!  I want to squeeze her.  And I love how she dresses; today was yellow shoes, colorful striped leggings, a dress, other striped top,  and a knit vest.  She was just running around my setup.  There was also a tiny tiny Asian girl who was the most creative with Flaca.  And two other blonde girls.  And a little boy who looked on from afar, from the safety of his folks.  These kids danced around, passed around Flaca, and were just so cute!  It was a moment of clarity, that this is a situation that I love to be in.  Playing music for dancing children!  I wished I had my percussion instruments just to pass them around.  We were just missing Brianna, the girl who always dances in her red rainjacket and bike helmet (I actually saw her coming as I was leaving).  I was aware, though, that Clara was too busy dancing to eat her burger, which was just sitting on the sidewalk on a napkin.  I was sure it was going to get stomped on, so I kept suggesting she take a break to eat but she wanted to dance.  I played a slower song, just because I was out of fast dance songs, and sure enough she sat and ate.  I felt like a DJ, choosing songs to manipulate the audience (that is, dancing vs. eating).  Another family came and sat in a line, five of them, five burgers, to listen.  Wow!  But then...the rain came.  As we knew it would.  And it got cold!  I had applied sunscreen, but I had to put my jumpers back on.  And it was pushing July!

Oh yes, it was raining, a sudden downpour, but I wasn't going to give up and go home.  Oh no, I had made it this far!  I headed to the museum for lunch, but of course by the time I arrived the rain had stopped.  I was hungry anyway so I went in for a quick break.  Aaaand it was rainy again when I emerged.  Went to the library to read and wait for it.  Trying to be responsible and not spend my earnings right away!  But I forgot that the library closes at 1:00 on Saturdays.  I should have found an alleyway or something to wait in, but I went into the Elephant House (JK Rowling cafe) to have a cuppa tea and read.  But of course....once I sat down it was dry again.  So annoying!  But it's good that I went in, you'll see why later!

The good thing about the rain is that if there were other buskers out, it cleared them so I got first pick of spots.  I wanted the arches, because of my discovery that they're semi-waterproof.  I powerwalked over there, running people over with my accordion, passing Dieter who blew me a kiss, waving to Elaine, and saw that my ideal spot was open.  Hurrah!  Set up and went to work.  I LOVE being slightly elevated.  I really notice the difference in people looking at me, and I do better because I feel like I'm on stage and thus perform.  I decided to stay at that spot for as long as I could, regardless of what came at me.  And I did.  The rain did come a few times, but it just drizzles a little then stops.  The best description I can come up with is that the clouds are incontinent.  Whenever they have some water ready, they let it go, rather than waiting for an opportune time to dump it all at once.  For the light rain, I soldiered on.  I removed the bottom padding from my box so my accordion wouldn't be put back on a wet piece of foam, and replaced it with  my extra jumper.  Let everything else stay out!  I would just take a step back to where the accordion wasn't getting wet, if need be.  One time the rain was stronger, so I pulled everything up and took a little break to eat raw broccoli (all pictures taken today have green teeth).  And guarded my spot, forthwith!  Worked quite well.  And so...

30 June, Part II
 1.  People were really looking at my signs!  I could see mouths moving, saying "Sophie's Smokin' Squeezebox," brains making sense of the photo sign, and two people came up to ask what degree I have.  Nice that they understood that the degree's done!  People always laugh when I say, "Psychology."

2. We'll go right for the gold: a woman and her teenage son appeared to hear me while across the street, and they crossed over to listen.  This was during "Dynamite," which surprised me.  After a while they came over, and the woman confessed that they had noticed my dress at the Elephant House (aha!) and now it made sense.  She heard my accent:
Woman: Are you from where we're from?
Me: I believe so.
Woman: Whereabouts?
Me: Massachusetts.
Woman: Us too!  Where?
Me: Amherst.
Woman:  Us too!

Wow, what foreshadowing when she asked, "Are you from where we're from?"  She must have known, deep inside!  She added later that when I said "Massachusetts" she just knew.  The woman, Becky, is a music professor at Hampshire College, and plays accordion as well.  The son, Sam, is a student at my alma mater, Amherst Regional High School.  We rattled off various names (mainly my parents) and didn't find common bonds, but we have, through facebook, since.  This was so nice, it totally made my day!  Valley folks right here!  Oh, and the best part is that Becky busked in that same spot, in 1981, on the fiddle.  Wow!  I hope to run into them at home.  They confirmed that if they saw my parents they'd pass along that I'm doing well. 

3. I was aware of hen parties so I was ready to play "Here Comes the Bride," but none had walked by yet.  But then...I looked up and saw an actual bride and groom!  Looking lovely in a gorgeous white gown and kilt, respectively.  They were presumably about to wed nearby, and a photographer and videographer followed them around the Royal Mile taking photos.  I think I saw them at the perfect time; they were paused for a picture right within earshot, so I started the song.  They all noticed, and changed course to come over!  The videographer motioned for me to keep looping the song, which provided the soundtrack for this bit of their wedding video.  They also came next to me for a photo.  So much more meaningful than playing it for drunk bridal parties!  Loved this.

4. There were three people in costumes, all pink and white striped, sort of an Alice in Wonderland/Queen of Hearts theme, but all bubble gum pink.  Two girls and a guy.  I'm still not exactly sure what the deal was, but they stuck around for a while.  There's a pensioner named Rob who takes photos on the Royal Mile, and he appeared around the same time and got some of all of us.  One of the girls is in town to take a Japanese exam. 

5. After having tea at the Elephant House I needed the toilet!  (They do call it the toilet here.  Seems like TMI to me, I'd rather say "bathroom" so it's vague which bit I'll be using.)  But I needed a babysitter for my stuff (NOT giving up my pitch) so I willed one of my friends to appear.  None did, so I asked Rob the trusted photographer along with the three pink whatevers to do the honors while I ran into Cafe Nero.  Soon after I got back, Tara walked by!  Followed by Caroline!  I have to give my brainpower more credit, I guess!

6. Nice chat with Elaine.  Such a great character!  She was also taking a toilet break.  I feel like she is the May of Edinburgh, for those of you who know the Ptown characters.

7. This next bit is not something I feel proud of, but it was such a good day and I was talking to everyone and going for everything so it just came out.  A preteen boy did one of the classic moves of bending down as if to tip but not tipping and saying or somehow communicating "just kidding" to the amusement of his friends.  Super annoying, right?  So I yelled after him, "That's not very nice, young man!"  I'm about to turn 24 and I'm already calling younguns "young man."  Oh no.  But he looked genuinely surprised and frazzled, so I wonder if I misread the situation.  I really hope he didn't actually tip!  That would make me the biggest asshole ever.

8. A man who looked familiar stopped to talk.  Discussed the problem with the price of education in the US, and how it's all free here.  Explained that the UK government takes care of its "subjects" from birth to death.  This man is unemployed but he gets good checks and has a free place to live.  He's certainly not unemployed due to lack of smarts; I said I was from Boston and he said "Ah, Massachusetts.  New England Patriots, Boston Celtics."  "That's right, but what else?"  ".....Oh, Boston Red Sox."  And "Boston Logan Airport, Northwest connection en route to Detroit Michigan."  Wow.  And he saw "Iorio" and declared it an Italian accordion, but that one's easy.  I was eager to get back to playing, but he accused Obama of being "just as bad as Bush" so I reclasped my accordion to speak up about this.  Could have gone on for a while, but I did have to finally announce that I was getting back to work. 

9.  Other buskers: at one point the not-friendly bluegrass band came out. Amplified.  A little too loud, but whatever.  A bigger problem was a new circle pitch guy who played music way too loudly while he was gathering people.  Then during his act he snapped a whip several times, which makes all heads turn and depletes my attention.  Todd does this too.  Annoying and seemingly unnecessary.  The only other group out was a sister act, but the sisters are children!  Accordion and violin.  They were just the cutest.  Matching tartan skirts.  The accordion player was quite good, a little child-sized Hohner 48-or-so bass, and the violin player was good too.  Doing traditional stuff.  I went over after the big rain to ask them to move down but also to compliment them.  They had a sign that said "Saving for a piano."  But Dieter burst this bubble when he said that they come out every year and that the mother is extremely pushy.  That's no good.

10. Had a nice talk with Dieter.  I always learn so much from him!  What I love is that when we talk you can still see silver in the wrinkles around his eyes.  Always a little silvery even after removing his paint!  Today's brilliant idea was to transport my accordion box within another box to stand on.  I won't always get this spot but I do want to be permanently elevated, but I can't transport two boxes.  Voila!  It would hide Ruby and Badger, but help quite a bit.  Keeping an eye open for a magically perfect sized box.

11.  Dad, stroller, two little boys.  Littler boy had a farm book, so I played "Old MacDonald."  The older boy frowned and covered his ears, but then as they retreated he smiled and waved.  Make up your mind!!

12. The Parade.  I had heard that today was the day of the Edinburgh Pride March, from Tom who was drumming for it.  I had forgotten this, but when I was at the market a man walked by wearing a rainbow tartan kilt, holding a stuffed teddy bear in a snuggly thing and waving a flag that looked like the US flag but with the Scottish flag and rainbow stripes.  Right.  So when I was on the RM it was clear that the parade had happened through popped balloons and ribbons on the sidewalk.  But...after I set up again after the main rain I heard drumming getting closer.  Oh, this must be it, coming back through!  I got super excited.  It seemed quite formal; actual drums corps in [pink] uniform, followed by flutes.  There were many flags, one of which featured the queen.  Someone in the parade held a fancy cushion with a crown perched atop.  I figured the pride march was getting extreme and crowning a "Queen."  Ha!  LOL!  But the rest of the parade was quite serious, if it was a pride march it was incredibly subdued or just extremely ironic.  They pulled it off if it was!  But it became clear that it wasn't the pride march.  What was it?  I asked someone, and they said it's a weird thing.  This was the anniversary of the massacre of some Catholics, and certain Protestants have a parade very year to celebrate.  Eeeeee.  Well at least it didn't interrupt my playing for too long.

I believe that's it!  I quit because my arms were getting super sore, I was actually COLD (despite having put on sunscreen earlier and Caroline providing me with a hot chocolate).  Decided to pack up when the rain started again, which didn't involve waiting too long.  Great day, felt really good!  Nice having a slow day in terms of other buskers.  Tomorrow is Canada Day, so hopefully I'll get out long enough for a few rounds of "O Canada!"

Till next time.

Tuesday, June 26, 2012

Movie Star!

Remember in March how I was featured in a mini documentary by local filmmaker Martin Lennon?  Well here it is!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AogWH9rvI8w&feature=youtu.be

"Oh, But You WILL Do"

Today was a strange day, really annoying but also inspirational!  But first, some updates: I have my red ukulele!  I mentioned that I won it, right?  Well I am now in possession of it.  Obviously I suck at it, but I was going to work really hard and incorporate it into the act!  Last Saturday night I saw a show, the Tinderbox Orchestra.  All I'm going to comment on is their outfits: all red and black.  There was even a red tambourine sitting on a keyboard, which looked so great.  This reminded me of the superiority of that color scheme, and I made the decision to go back to it.  Of course I already have a red accordion, shakers, ukulele, and lipstick, but I would have to make Flaca a red sweater and hat, get myself a red blouse to go over the dress and a red sweater, always wear red earrings, maybe red tights or shoes.  Awesome, right?  Get a red tambourine to use instead of my blue one.  I went to work with this upcoming transformation on my mind.  I apologize in advance that this post is mostly text, with only a few bullet points.  So get comfy!

Tuesday, June 26, 2012
Got off to a cranky start.  No pitches on the RM, for stupid reasons.  There was this red-haired teenage boy outside of the cathedral, but I don't like that pitch so it didn't bother me.  On the side of the cathedral there was a new girl playing guitar and singing, but you could barely hear her voice.  I heard her sing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow" but a totally stylized, growly, mellismatic pop version that rubbed me the wrong way.  Down from her was Elaine, the most pierced woman alive, and across from her at the arches was a violin player.  More about her.  A piper was outside the Tron Kirk therefore taking up all the pitches in that area.  I decided to use scare tactics to make one of those three move.  This piper was like 14, so I thought it would be easy.  "Hi!  How long are you planning to stay here?"  "All day!"  "Well, you can only stay 90 minutes in one place."  "Only in the festival."  "Well it's NOT the festival." (Oops, just proved his incorrect point.)  "I know..."  "No!  I mean, on normal days you can only stay 90 minutes."  "I've never heard that, and I've been doing this for three years."  "Well it's in the guidelines.  Have you read the guidelines?"  "No."  "Well there you have it.  How long have you been here?"  "30 minutes."  "Okay, 60 minutes left.  I'll come back then and reclaim my spot!"  See, I scared the pants off him.  I really didn't want to bother setting up farther up, by the castle.  It was the first sunny day in a while, and I just wanted one of my goddamn pitches.

These new people annoy me so much.  Here they are with this brilliant idea to try busking.  Great, but they don't consider the effect on the rest of us!  Glad you're having a laugh and you can go home and tell your parents, who provide everything for you, all about it.  Meanwhile, I don't make money and I'm screwed when it comes time to pay rent.  I don't mind being denied a pitch by a seasoned professional busker, but it makes me mad when its at the hands of an amateur.  Harrumph.  I talked briefly to Elaine the pierced lady, whose advice was to ignore the rules and set up too close anyway.  Well that's not going to go over well when I subsequently complain about someone doing that!  She's a great character; I have no idea what she looks like because of all the piercings!  Definitely going to be in the movie about my life.  When I went on my way she bade me farewell with a "Ciao, baby!"  Yesss.

The violin player said she'd quit at 1:00 or 1:30.  It was like 12:15.  I wanted that spot, so I decided to go sit and wait right by her.  This violin player can't be more than 15 years old.  She's very plain, wearing normal clothes, not doing anything flashy, just standing in front of her open box.  Never smiled, changed expression, anything.  Just stood there and played the violin mediocrely.  If you're a virtuosic kid then by all means go out and impress people!  Do it in my pitch!  But she wasn't even good at the instrument.  And she played like three songs.  (Sounds a lot like my first day.  Bet I did just this in someone's pitch.)  And she had the nerve, when I initially asked her how long she'd be there, to suggest places for me.  I hoped that my presence would make her pack up earlier.  I thought back to my days as a beginning busker when other buskers were after my spot.  I was definitely bratty and annoying, but if they actually waited right there I would eventually give in to the pressure and quit.  I was hoping I would have the same effect on this young lady.  And so I waited.  I was hoping one of the other pros would come over and loudly ask when I would be playing or something so she'd know that when she fucks with me, she fucks with all the buskers of Edinburgh (excuse my language, Lowell!).  The worst part was that she was getting tipped up the wazoo.  One person took out his wallet and gave her a fiver.  Why??  Not good, not entertaining, not advertising a good cause, no effort with pretty signs or even use of a hairbrush or anything.  It really baffled me.  Some people had been telling me that I should be doing just the accordion, so I thought that must be it: people like plain instruments.  No bells and whistles (literally, in my case).  Maybe people like the "oh I just rolled out of bed and decided to go busk" look, and in fact I've wasted my time, energy, and money by doing such things as obtaining a painted box, making signs, sewing a dress, etc.  Later, Tom and I talked about it, and his insight was that she was getting tipped well just because of her diminutive age.  I expressed my concern about the effort I put into appearance being in vain, but he said that it's my look, my presentation (I forget the perfect word that he used).  Hers is just being 15.  That's the whole act.  Made me feel better.

I kept a neutral yet slightly impatient demeanor as I waited.  Made sure to visibly stretch so she would know that I was warming up for something very important.  I actually should remember to stretch more often.  I didn't quite glare at her, but I think it was implied.  But then....an [Asian] lady stopped, took a picture of her, and kept walking.  Okay, here's my chance to start the mechanism of setting this atrocity right, one tourist at a time.  "Excuse me!"  I yelled after her, (then mimed along), "If you take a photo you should tip!  It's polite."  As easy as that!  The lady nodded and took out her wallet.  And the violinist smiled at me!  Wow!  I am putty at the slightest smile, so I had no choice but to abandon my "cold, big-league busker" attitude and go for a "mother bear" one instead.  Of course I was there to protect this newbie from the atrocities of tourists!  I mean, after this she was forever indebted to me, and should probably give up her spot, right?  No.  Kept playing and playing.  Took breaks to sit and drink water.  Okay, if someone's waiting you don't get breaks.

Finally, finally, she stopped.  But she didn't even say anything to tag me in, I just had to go over and start setting up while she collected her measly (I wish) tips.  I was hoping she would stick around to hear a song, the polite thing to do, and see what a real busker looks like.   She didn't.

It was pretty slow.  People were walking by, smiling, but not tipping.  I was trying to figure out what the problem was.  I was playing really badly, which I can't explain, but that never stopped me from making money.  Because of suggestions from Silver and the Chocolate Tree guy, and also because of my own observations that I make less money when I play more instruments, I planned to do one set with everything, count my takings, then do another set with only accordion and compare.  But then I didn't, because I personally feel like my act is more interesting with percussion and kazoo.  More on this.  Anyway, here are a few numbered items before we get into the next block of text.  Trying to finish this post by 10:15 so I can get to Costcutter in time to get half-price Ben and Jerry's!  Here are the few interesting things that happened on this gorgeous, sunny, hot day!  I put on sunscreen!!

1.  There is an old Scottish man who sits in a wheelchair in full, beautiful Scottish garb.  Red tartan, hat, the works.  He has a jar collecting money for a charity.  Today, he wheeled by and paused long enough to say, "Remember, the rain's on its way."  Ominous!  It has been rainy, but today was gorgeous and the forecast was in my favor.  Had to laugh.

2.  There were some adorable pre-teen girls.  Usually they are the worst, off shopping with their braces and lack of chaperones, usually reacting to buskers only to dance mockingly to the amusement of their counterparts.  But this group was wonderful!  There was the main girl who did most of the talking.  She is among the coolest people ever.  Know why?  She had a cast on her left arm!  You have to be in the elite club of "coolest people ever" to break your left arm!  She was tiny, super skinny wearing jean shorts and black high-top Converse sneakers, with her reddish hair in a high ponytail.  She escorted her friends over and struck up a conversation, asking me how long I had been busking.  She asked wonderful follow-up questions, like if I make enough money, how business was today, etc.  Her little brother (?) did the verbal equivalent of tugging on her sleeve, to which she told him, "I'm having a wee chat with the lady!"  I mentioned that it was slightly tricky because Todd had a great crowd that was super loud, which took away from my attention, and one of the other girls spoke up to bash Todd.  Todd's good news, I can never resent him, but I loved how quickly this other girl sided with me.  "Yeah, he looks like one of those types who makes a big deal about his magic show and then just stands there while his kids take money from people's pockets."  Ha.  So of course I had to stick up for Todd.   The first girl asked about Flaca, and patiently waited while I untangled her.  I gave a demo, explaining my plan to get her up and dancing, hands-free.  The girl complimented me on being good at inventions.  I corrected her: "Well I'm good at thinking of them, not necessarily doing them."  "Oh but you will do.  You will do."  (Emphasis on "will.")  Big smile.  Did you see that puddle on the sidewalk?  Yep, it was the remains of my heart.  I wanted to tell her to hold on a sec while I wrote a note to her parents congratulating them on their child-rearing techniques, but they were off to do wholesome things, be pleasant, and make someone else's day.

3.  My Big Discovery of 2012 has been carrots as snackfood.  So easy to pack, not messy!  So today I was munching a carrot while playing, but of course when it came time for a kazoo song I still had bits of carrot in my mouth.  Fun to imagine a kazoo filled with carrot mash.  I hope I was spraying it out the other end. :)

4.  A baby in a stroller went by holding a shaker just like mine.  I wasn't using percussion on that song, but I activated my left foot to show him my shaker, and the mom was super pumped.

5.  A guy on a bike biked by fairly quickly and dropped a coin in.  Cool!  However, the awesomeness of the trick was diminished by the fact that he practically ran over Flaca.

6.  A vendor came over to talk while I was still waiting, actually.  Both of us were obviously foreigners, and he identified himself as having parents from Taiwan, but he grew up in Poland.  He's an artist and sells his work and sketches portraits on the street.  Later, I walked by and he had a white pigeon in his hand.  Cool!  

7. This was later, but I looked up to see a huge crowd!  Wow!  But then I realized that it was a tour, and they were hearing about the war memorial next to me.  But the guide wasn't saying anything.  Weird.  I realized that the guide was actually signing!  None of the other buskers watching me nor I had seen such a tour before.  I'd be curious what they think of my act, presuming these people are deaf and not just advanced signing students.  One did comment on me to another (clearly indicating me while signing).  Could be my best comment ever, but I'll never know!  It was a strange situation, seeing the big crowd I had to focus on playing well, but then once I learned they couldn't hear me I was able to let my guard down.

8.  Someone tipped me a £1 bill!  Sounds normal, right?  Remember that over here £1 is usually in coin form, and you rarely see a bill smaller than £5.  I didn't know these existed!

9.  A woman asked me how to get to the Grassmarket.  I gave her directions, and she said something about how silly it was asking an American.  Hey, what's silly about that?

10.  Later, some other Americans (Montana) asked if I knew where to get deep fried mars bars.  Ha.  No, I don't.  Summoned Calum for that one.

11.  Todd came by and asked if I can play "Mission: Impossible."  I told him I can't, and he suggested I learn it and then run by his pitch while he's trying to escape from the straightjacket.  Cool!  It'll also be good for my own repertoire, so I'll get on it.

The next part of this post is all about the education I received today from pro buskers.  Earlier I had been talking to Tom, and he said that the percussion is too loud.  The two "jingles" really travel far due to their high frequency, and apparently Tom could hear them at the circle pitch last time.  The accordion doesn't go that far, so it's just percussion which is better than it used to be, he said, but still not good enough on its own.  He suggested I do mainly the shakers, then punctuate it with tambourine, but only one!  I tried it briefly in my first set, switching feet but leaving off one tambourine and the bells, but I wasn't used to it so I switched back.  Agreed to go down to one tambourine. 

After I packed up, I saw Todd being photographed by a professional, in his straightjacket.  He invited me to lunch when he was done, which was nice.  Todd referred to the Royal McGregor as "the office;" apparently its the hang-out for buskers.  I was not aware of that!  Cool!  So we went there and Tom joined us and they debated which of them was stinkier.  My piano dress seldom gets washed so I was in good company.  This was really nice to just hang out with them, I felt like one of the crew!  It reminded me that I have to spend all day out there, like they do, between sets.  I won't be busking all the time, but hanging out with buskers between sets will be good for me.  And fun, of course.  Tom demonstrated his disappearing coin and card stuff.  Really amazing.  He's a pro.  I straight-out asked them what I can do to improve my act, hoping for a final answer on the disappointing ratio of my tips to violinist's tips, and Todd laid out three key components: appearance, talent, and nationality.

1.  Be as attractive as possible.  Make eye contact, flirt, look good.  That one's easy! 

2. Play well.  Now, this is interesting.  I've always said that it doesn't matter how good you are, that people tip because they like the accordion and I am holding an accordion.  But Todd begs to differ and I'm inclined to believe him now; simple maths shows that I make better money as a decent accordion player than I do as a mediocre accordion/kazoo/percussion player.  Be talented, and do as little as possible.  Less is more.  "What about the puppet?"  "LEESSSSSSSSS is more!"   

3. Don't try to pass as Scottish.  Play songs from my home country.  The locals will be glad to get a break from the same stuff they always hear, and the tourists (Americans, at least) will be excited to hear songs they know.

With this encouragement from Tom and Todd I decided to abandon my "one-and-a-half woman band."  It's certainly fun and makes heads turn, but at the end of the day if it's reducing my tips then it has to go.  It has significantly reduced my accordion ability, and I get tired much earlier!  And so, I will, for the first time, go backwards.  Arrange songs just for accordion.  Stop thinking about how many instruments I can add.  Be pretty, play well. Also, I asked Todd what hair product he uses, since whatever it is works.  Now that I've cut all my hair off I need a good product to make it messy and awesome, and the one I got sucks.  So not only did Todd tell me what he uses, but he pulled it out and went to work on me.  Best my hair has ever looked. 

I was excited to go out, with Todd's encouragement, and do one more set.  The arches were still open, so I set up where I had before.  Right away, the rain came.  Real rain, not the normal spitting or drizzling, but rain.  I realized that I could just take a step back and be under one of the arches rather than in front of it and stay dry.  So I did that.


I brought everything up to the arch, and had to figure out a tip box.  Started with the big box way out on the sidewalk but I decided I didn't want to get it wet, since the accordion would go back in, so I pulled it up and put it next to me.  Todd gave me a hard time for putting it too close, and began to recite the exact explanation that Silver had given me.  "Save your breath!"  I told him, "Silver got me on this one!  You know Silver?"  "Who do you think taught me to busk?"  Nice.  And so I put out Flaca's box, which I don't mind getting wet.  But of course I did a crap paint job and the paint started running.  My hands are still nicely dyed.  And it's so tiny, you can barely see it and a lady kicked it.  Dieter solved this one: put the big box out, but closed, and put the little box on top.  Perfect!  It's elevated, the big box stays dry inside, and, best yet, you can see Ruby and Badger!  Dieter also suggested that in addition to my feed money I scatter some coins around the box to give the appearance that people are so excited to tip that they just toss coins in the general direction, and some don't go in.

This was a good solution.  I pulled out my signs and leaned them around me, so people could still read them.  Oh, the best part was that I was elevated!  Todd also suggested I elevate myself so people look up at me, and the arch is naturally elevated by like 9 inches or so.

This was great.  I felt so good.  I was above street level, in an arch with incredible acoustics, focusing on just accordion for the first time in three months.  I was playing well, passionately, and sounding good.  I still tapped my feet out of habit, and it just looked like dancing.  The best part of all: having the pros watch.  Everyone else had quit because of rain, so after our luncheon they were just hanging around and they watched me!  This was Todd, Tom, Dieter, and Calum, who isn't in the blog yet.  He's great, a big guy with a heavy Scottish accent.  He has done some street stuff, but recently discovered his passion: storytelling.  He's getting into that and in the meantime does tours.  Rounds out the group nicely!  Oh, and he knows Twin Peaks.  Anyway, it was super empowering having all these pros watching little ol' me play!  People were into it too, I was obviously the only busker out, and because I was hidden in the arch passersby would hear me before they saw me.  This was a cool effect, and I received a lot of smiles from under brollies (look it up).   I felt so liberated only doing accordion; I had missed it!  Oh, but Tom pleaded for no more Gaga after 3/4 of the medley.  Must learn Adele.

Unfortunately, the rain was a bit too much.  It was actually coming into the arch, so I would have had to move way back to keep my accordion dry.  I decided it wasn't worth it and packed up.  While doing so Dieter gave me more advice on my act, and on the fact that I need to work on my tempo (darn, I thought I was fooling people!).  This was good to learn, though, that during light rain I can hide in the arch and put in a few songs.  Easiest way to follow Todd's advice and get elevated!

From now on I will start getting up earlier, head into town with a book, beat the new buskers to the good spots, and spend all day establishing myself as a busker.  Actually really motivated now after this inspiration day with the pros!

The end.

P.S. Through a discussion with a friend yesterday I realized that I can make a killing on the 4th of July!  It's obviously nothing here, but there will be American tourists aplenty, so I can paint my face, decorate a silly hat, and loop "[Be Kind to Your Fine Feathered Friends]" all day!  Yeahhh!

Wednesday, June 20, 2012

Must Learn Tango

Well, we couldn't have three great days in a row.  It was another nice day, and eight days of rain are forecasted, so I headed out for the third day.  I don't usually do three days!  It was a good day for hiding my identity, since people guessed I was Irish, Polish, Dutch, and Russian, not a bad day since it was boring, a little stressful and not super lucrative.

Didn't get off to a good start.  I planned to go to Rose St. and stay for a couple hours during the "lunch rush," arriving at 12:30.  There was no competition, no other buskers nor homeless people.  I didn't want to use the same spot as last time because I don't want to get on the realtor/banker/whatevers' bad side.  I ran into my new busker friend William who was also about to set up.  He said that lunch time is bad there, since the shoppers just want to shop and everyone else is suits taking lunch breaks.  Hmmm.  I set up anyway, a little farther down, across from a bank.  William was right; the traffic flow was slow and the wrong types.  No tourists, not even good ones.  Additionally, a woman working in the bank kept looking out at me.  I decided to not use the kazoo so she'd tolerate me longer.

Regardless, she came out after a bit and very nicely asked me to move down.  Super nice, said my music is quite lovely.  It was nice to have an excuse to pack up entirely and try the Royal Mile, better during lunchtime.  I sat in the Princes St. Gardens and ate my bag lunch, then went to the Royal Mile.  New folks.  A bluebrass band with double bass, banjo, and mandolin with a sign saying they need money for car repairs.  Okay, clever, people will buy that.  A ukulele player with a nice outfit: brown trousers, red and white checked button-down shirt, red shoes, red ukulele, red suspenders ("braces" here), red bowtie.  Finally, someone else who knows that if you look good it doesn't matter what you sound like!  Tom had the circle pitch.  I went down to check out the Police box and heard a piper in the general vicinity.  Too loud.  I headed back up the hill to figure things out.  But then...I no longer heard the piper!  Turned around and saw a cop talking to him.  Awesome.  I bolted back down the hill, but since it was probably a noise complaint I asked this other lady who looked like a cop if that was true.  It takes me a while to set up these days, so if I was going to immediately get a noise complaint too it wouldn't be worth it.

This conversation was so annoying, I had asked a simple question, but instead of answering it she lectured me on the relationship between the buskers and the city.  "Have you seen the guidelines?"  "Yes, ma'am."  "Okay well how it works is that if there's a reasonable noise complaint the busker has to move on."  "Oh yes, I know, I'm quite an experienced--"  "Additionally..."  She went on to list all the bylaws.  Argh!  Turns out she wasn't a police officer, but rather a member of the "public safety committee."  The police officer talking to the piper came over, and she told him "This young lady would like to hear about the busking guidelines."  No!!!!  No she wouldn't!!!!!  Abort!!!!!  Got the same lecture from him.  It turns out the public safety lady was conducting a survey about public safety and would be until 2:00.  She didn't want buskers around there during it.  There's nowhere else on the block she can do the surveys?  Come on.  This was 1:30, by the way.

I walked back up the hill to see if anyone was budging, but they were not.  Decided to just puppy guard the spot until 2:00.  Boooooring.  And so I did.  Unfortunately it seemed that the Police Box was a favorite place for peeing or barfing or something, it was quite gross.  So I sat on my box and just waited.  Another piper came over and was talking to the women on the other side of the box.  I worried that he was also waiting and wouldn't see me.  Other buskers came by with a dolly full of gear and made as if they were waiting too.  It wasn't clear that I'm a busker if I'm sitting on my box, and if you're new to town.  So I set up then waited.  That was good, gave a nice clear message that it was MY spot.  Going to say this now: I'm so glad I came when I did.  One potential plan for this year had me coming in late June, and I would have annoyed the shit out of everyone.  So many people are showing up now and hogging the best pitches, which is so disrespectful to those of us who have been here longer and who do this full time.  If I'm annoyed after five months I can't imagine how the real local buskers feel.

2:00 rolled along and I was ready to go.  Luckily my fears about someone else not seeing me and setting up across the street or something did not come true.  Today's session really dragged on.  I only lasted an hour and a half, and even that felt like an eternity.  I was going to push hard to get at least two hours, but luckily it started raining.  I was playing quite poorly and I attribute that to the fact that I had busked the previous two days.  The percussion is really tiring, and my feet were just slow and lazy today!  In general I was tired and out of it and making a lot of mistakes.  Luckily there's a 100% chance of rain tomorrow so I can take a day off.  Anyway....

Wednesday, June 20, 2012 
1.  The new photography sign.  We'll get right to it.  A lot of people were blatantly ignoring it.  Like looking over everything, obviously reading it, and violating anyway.  Come on!  One man was taking pictures and hadn't seen the sign.  I couldn't tell if he was going to, so for a second I considered smiling and, in perfect rhythm, hitting my foot percussively against the front of the box where the sign is.  Keeping it silly and stuff, but also aggressive.  But I didn't, because I don't like to be aggressive about soliciting tips.  I have never felt comfortable with that and I never will, which means accepting making fewer tips than my more shameless colleagues.  I do think the sign helps with some people though.

2.  A little girl in a striped rainbow jumper and pigtails scootered up and watched for a minute.  She asked me, "Why do you have two shaker thingies?"  There was a lot she could have asked about, good choice!  I told her it was to be extra loud.  She accepted that explanation.

3.  A little boy stopped to watch, and subconsciously (?) started tapping/swinging his foot.  Gotcha!

4.  This is something I noticed yesterday, but forgot to include: There are similarities between the Chariots of Fire theme and Laura's Theme from Twin Peaks.  Specifically, after a slow and dramatic introduction they both excitingly and loudly hit a thrice-inverted F major chord (is that something I can say?).  In Chariots of Fire, which I more recently learned, you hold that for a while.  In Laura's theme, you only hold it for two beats, I think.  But that's the thing, after working hard of C of F, I've forgotten Laura's theme!  Oh no!

5.  Played Danny Boy, which I never really solidified.  I was doing pretty well, but then I totally fudged the climactic high note.  I had an audience.  Must practice.

6.  A man walked by with a blond, blue-eyed little boy holding each hand.  He kept walking, but the two boys both turned their heads over their right shoulders to watch me.  Identical smiles and blue gazes, just about an 8-inch height difference.  I liked that.

7.  After The Godfather theme, a man who was listening shouted "Bellisima!"  Love when people recognize that one!  And when I later revealed that I'm from Boston, he mentioned "How do you like them apples?"  I was a little confused, having forgotten that that phrase originated in Boston, I guess.  Cool!  He also asked if I play "Take On Me," which is good because I'm planning on learning it ASAP.  Will have to speed it up!

8.  There's a fellow who's getting ready to make a feature film about gypsies, and invited me to act in it.  Unfortunately I won't be here long enough.  But I might still contribute some music from afar!

9.  Lastly, a group of older men walked by (actually while I was just beginning to play the Godfather Theme).  I was worried that they were Italian and they thought I played it when they showed up.  They went into Starbucks then came out to talk.  One asked, "Tango?"  I began to play "El Dia Que Me Quieras," a beautiful Tango that I don't actually know how to play.  They started singing, and it would have been so amazing if I could have played along.  But I lost it.  They were speaking Spanish to each other, and so, feeling quite confident in the answer, I asked where they're from.  Argentina, indeed.  Since I could not impress them with my Tango ability, I figured I could at least impress them with  my Spanish.  Told them that la unica canciĂłn de america del Sur que conozco es de Brazil.  "¿Cuál?" me preguntaron.  "¡Tico Tico!"  "¡Tico Tico No Fubar!" exclamaron.  So I played it and they danced.  Good enough.  But the lesson of the day is MLT: Must Learn Tango.  Before I learn "Take Me On."  Awesome.

That's all!  Must get arranging!  Seeing "Jaws" in theaters tonight!  Woo-hoo!

P.S. Two exciting things:
1. My first youtube video has reached 20,000 views!  Played it today to celebrate, but no one ever knows it.  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uqyiipPHruQ

2. We forgot to mention this, but June 17th was the two-year anniversary of starting to busk!  We're pros now!

Tuesday, June 19, 2012

"Comedian's Toy"

Another nice day busking!  It was quite warm and sunny, and I thought about checking out the Middle Meadow Walk for the first time in a while, and if it was taken or desolate, I would go to Rose St. again.  As it was, it was a bit desolate.  Plenty of students, but students don't pay the bills!  I wandered down the Royal Mile and decided just to play there.  Jack Sparrow violinist and this band I didn't recognize were the only buskers out.  I wanted to give Rose St. a break so it stayed special, and it's rare to get so much airspace on the RM.  As I was checking out the police box pitch and saw the band, who walked up the hill but Tom the Other Accordion Player.  Shit, I was sure he was going to want the Cathedral as well, since he usually plays there, so I struck up conversation.  Luckily he said he was planning to go up by the castle, so I could have the cathedral.  And so I set up.  I chose between an alcove and a not alcove, and went with not alcove so I would be closer to the masses, although the acoustics would have been better in the alcove.

This was the real test day for the photography sign, since the highest concentration of violators is on the RM.  First I had it to the right of my box, then moved it to the front, in line with the other signs.  I think it did help a little, a statistic which I unfortunately base on how many Asians tipped.  There were still many violators, though, and I realized that a lot of the quick photos are of just my upper body, so the sign won't even show up in their photos.  Darn.  Another problem is that many of the sneaky photographers do so from the side, where they can't see the sign at all.  I should put it on my head.  I caught some people reading it, though, so that was good.

After the first hour and a half or so a bagpiper set up in the usual spot outside the courthouse.  It was bearable but still loud, so I walked across the street to the arches after Jack Sparrow had left.  I didn't properly pack up for this quick walk, and my feet with percussion made a great rhythm.  It was another good day at both locations, I felt good about my music and its response!

Tuesday, June 19, 2012--My 11/12th birthday!
1.  A couple of older Asian men with fancy cameras stopped.  Here we go, big test!  Sure enough, they tipped!  And took photos.  And photos and photos!  The one guy was shooting wildly, getting every angle!  He asked me to step away from my setup and stand in the sun for more photos.  At least he tipped!

2.  A guy saw my loans sign and stopped to talk.  Talked about the problems with the high cost of education, and his plans to go to university.  Turning 40 this year, so he wants to do it.  Nice.

3.  After I crossed to the new location and had played there for a while, an older man with dark gray hair but white eyelashes walked over and introduced him as Silver.  I got the feeling that this would be a complaint from a vendor.  But no, it was advice!  He busked for 25 years, and offered me some suggestions to make more money.  He was really nice about it; sometimes my pride kicks in and I deflect suggestions, but he delivered them in a really nice and helpful way.  First, he said that my box needs to be farther up, and I have to hang back.  Explained that folks get uncomfortable going close to you to tip, and would rather just drop a coin in where they are already walking.  This one seems so obvious!  I've thought about it before but never thought it mattered enough to implement.  He prefaced his next tip by saying it was about the kazoo: "Never......stop the kazoo."  Oh, okay!!  So glad he likes the kazoo!  But it turns out he just changed the delivery mid-sentence.  Just "stop the kazoo."  Said that the accordion is so nice and the kazoo drowns it out.  He said that the kazoo is a comedian's toy, and that no one will take my act seriously.  Very good point.  I do still plan to use it, though, and told him that the reason for it is just to show off my multi-tasking; that I get tipped for the multi-tasking rather than the music.  But I'll keep an eye on tip flow with it.  I did move my box up, though.  I'm not entirely sure if it helped, but I'll give it a chance.  The problem is that it blocks the view of my feet as people are walking by, and they like to look at my feet now that they're doing cool things.  I kept forgetting to stay back though, and naturally shifted to where I'm used to being in relation to the box and to Flaca.  We'll see what happens!

4. Cute baby's eyes were glued to me.  That is all.

5.  There's a woman who walks by sometimes who I think is named Helen.  I first saw her on Torch Day when she walked by with a free coca-cola she had received.  She offered it to me, saying she couldn't have it because she was epileptic.  Came by again today and stopped to talk.  Asked if I had any foreign coins; she's a collector.  I told her I hadn't received any that day (turned out I had € and $, but those are boring).  I do have a little baggie of them, I suppose I'll bring them to her next time.  Got some interesting ones on the road.  She asked what my snack was that I was eating, and I told her it was carrots.  "I can't have hard vegetables because I'm epileptic."  I'm learning so much about the dietary restrictions of those afflicted with epilepsy!

6. Lewis the King of Scotland stopped by!  I was playing Ring of Fire and spotted him next to me, singing along.  I dropped down to just left hand chords so he could take the solo.  Awesome.  Then he switched and began singing "Smile and the world smiles with you."  And then he was off in a flash to talk to Helen.  He came by again later as I was packing up for a wee chat.  I mentioned being happy that the sun was out, and he said "It doesn't rain on the Royal Mile, it's just liquid sunshine."  Then he began to sing a song about this!  I wish I remembered the words; he demonstrated how he stands out in the rain, holding his cane up in the air with the hook side down so it looks like the handle of an umbrella.  The song included how it's the best umbrella because it has no spokes to poke you in the eye, etc.  What a guy!

7.  A great family stopped by with a really enthusiastic little boy, less than two years old I'd say.  He decided that his family would stop and listen, so I took out a maraca from my shoe and extended it to him.  He immediately waddled over and grabbed it, then went back to the safety of his parents to give it a shake.  We played "The Wheels on the Bus."  An older man wearing an extremely bright yellow jumper stopped just then and said the song sounds like another song, Bobby Shaftoe (thank you, google!).  He sang the first two verses of this:


Bobby Shaftoe gone to sea
Silver buckles on his knee
He'll come back and marry me
Bonnie Bobby Shaftoe

Bobby Shaftoe's bright and fair
Combing down his yellow hair
He's my love for ever more
Bonnie Bobby Shaftoe


The boy's mother confirmed that she knows this one too.  Lots of folks singing today!!  The boy had given back the shaker but wasn't ready to move on yet.  When his parents gave him money he loitered in front of the box, so I told him he could put it in the big box or the little box.  Obviously he chose the little box, and so I showed him Flaca, whom he immediately accepted.  I got down on my knee and played Beer Barrel Polka, and he did the standard dance with her of yanking her up and down for a bit, then swinging her all around.  Good thing that girl has a strong stomach!  Then they went on their merry way.  So cute!

8.  Sometimes people walk by with pop culture t-shirts and I wish I could break into that song!  This most frequently happens with Ghostbusters shirts, but yesterday I saw a Star Wars shirt and today I saw the Godfather.  Of course I can wing the middle and properly play the latter, but it's always too late when I notice.  I'll have to keep my eyes open!

9.  I actually had crowds today!!  Cool!  At one point, a man was sitting on one of the earplug-shaped concrete things and listening.  I don't use percussion on all my songs, so when I stopped for one song this guy tapped his foot and pointed to indicate that I should use it.  Okay!

10.  A girl took my photo on her iPhone and didn't tip.  Then....she dropped her phone!  Kaaaaaarma!

11.  A man stopped to talk who had a bundle that might have been a drum.  He apologized for something about singing, which I hadn't heard.  Turns out Lewis had been singing quite loudly further down.  He said that he's known Lewis for years, and that he named his dog Louie after him.  Nice.  This guy also asked if it was me he saw walking and playing the accordion a few months ago on George IV Bridge St.  Indeed it was!  We had talked briefly then!  Cool!

12.  I was doing a lot of kazoo, and it was getting a little slimy.  Didn't help that I started the day with chap stick.  At one point it actually fell out mid-song, and I managed to catch it, but it was an obvious interruption to the song.  I was glad that some passersby saw!

That's all that's written!  Lots of busking is good, but it also means lots of blogging which gets old!  Tomorrow looks nice, then at least eight days of rain.  No thanks.  Let's hope this forecast is wrong!

I think I'm going to properly arrange "Someone Like You" now.  Cheers!

Monday, June 18, 2012

"Scottish Girls Aren't Crazy Enough For This"

Today was really good.  Restored my faith in busking once again.  It has been raining nonstop for days and days.  I didn't busk at all over the weekend, but rather worked on my photography sign:


So when I woke up this morning and saw the sun pouring into the windows, I piano-dressed up and headed into town.  There were no empty pitches on the main drag of the Royal Mile.  Lots of new acts, two girls singing, a violin player, a harp player, and two bagpipers together in front of the Tron Kirk whose combined volume was loud enough to wipe out about five pitches.  Come on.  Elaine, the most-pierced woman alive, was out making more tips than the musicians.  I talked to Tom, who explained that this is normal after a rainy weekend; everyone comes out on Monday.  I thought about exploring one of the far ends of the RM, but instead went to Rose St.

I'm so glad I did.  It was a truly wonderful session, as Rose St. often yields.  It's not overrun with tourists, but the tourists who do walk by are ones interested in exploring a quaint pedestrian street.  There are families with children, and also a lot of locals; the group that tipped me the most today, I believe.  I know it's not about the money, but I did well, something that hasn't happened in a while.  I was playing pretty well and generally enjoying myself, and I got some interesting comments.  All this combines to make it a truly great afternoon of busking.

Monday, 18 June 2012
1. A man and woman walked by and tipped.  The man stopped and asked, "What's your nationality?"  "I'm American," I truthfully told him, "Could you tell?"  He replied, "Scottish girls aren't crazy enough for this!"  "I'll take that as a compliment."  "You should."  Love it.

2. Even though it's a pedestrian street, some cars go by, usually business vans or whatever.  A garbage truck went by today, filling the street, and a man commented, "You can't compete with the bin lorry!"  Nae, ye canna.

3.  A couple came by and the man chose to tip Flaca.  But as he bent down he hurt his back or something.  Oh no!  The wife commented on Flaca, and they told me about a famous puppeteer they met who works in Glasgow.  John something, a little man with spectacles.

4.  "That used to be me!" exclaimed a middle-aged American man.  He used to play accordion, maybe I inspired him to pick it up again!

5.  A bedraggled man and his dog came to sit and listen for a while.  The dog was checking out everyone, and paid me a few visits.  When the left the man apologized for not having money to tip me.  Seems that he's homeless.  So nice that he stopped and listened!  Many resent the buskers for taking all the tips.

6.  Another  man stopped long enough to take out his wallet and show me that there was nothing in it.  Fair enough.

7.  In San Francisco I came up with a busker's pickup line: "Know what would make that dollar bill even better?"  "What?"  "Your phone number written on it."  Used it once in SF, and it worked!  I thought about it again today, but realized I can't use it over here since my tips are all metal! D'oh!

8.  As usual, my KAIHO covers were my best songs.  My new favorite to play is "Rebs' Song," which is fun to start softly and really load it all on as it progresses.  I also tried the band's newest song, "Idiot Brain," which was fun to improvise with the kazoo!

9. In general, it was a kazoo heavy set.  The acoustics are so good on Rose St. that I couldn't put it down.  As a result I still have this groove on my lip, two hours later, and my face is sore from holding it in my mouth!  The lady at the bank (?) across the street kept looking over during kazoo songs, I reckon she didn't fancy it.

10.  About my new sign: it wasn't necessary today!  That's something I love about Rose St., the people who walk by tip with they photograph.  I had one violator, that was it.  Two women from Holland stopped by, and one acknowledged the sign by saying "donate online" aloud.  So it was visible!

11.  A middle-aged couple kept walking by.  Turns out they're Canadian!  They confirmed that I don't have an obvious American accent, and I confessed having faked accents a lot recently.  The man said he picked up a little Swiss German.  Awesome, I'll take it.

12.  I lost my set list!  I think at the uke boogie.  But luckily I've been using this one for so long that I know the order pretty well.  Good, it was time to print a new one anyway with my new songs.

13. I played just Paparazzi, and a guy came over and said that it was "brilliant," that he and his friends were listening.  So I played the rest of my Gaga tunes, and even tried more Adele.  Must arrange more current songs!

14.  A fellow kept walking by with big stacks of magazines.  We talked at one point, and he identified the publications as brochures for the Comedy Festival.  He'll be walking around passing them out all summer, and he saw me on the RM the other day!  We talked about playing in the winter, and he suggested using the power of my bellows to make flames appear or otherwise produce heat.  Also suggested making pancakes and selling them while I play.  I mentioned my goal to get Flaca up and dancing, and he said it wasn't necessary; that it was good to have random props around.  Suggested I bring furniture and a pineapple too.  Ha.

15.  When I was wrapping up, a girl from Singapore (?) (had a thing that mentioned Singapore Airlines) stopped to listen.  She was holding a tennis racket, but then said, "I play..."  and began opening the case.  What, tennis?  Great, but how is that relevant?  What she revealed was a broom flute!!!  Literally a little broom with holes drilled into the base so it works like a flute.  So awesome.  Her friend made it.  I think she said she plays in the gardens?  Hope to see her in action.

16.  I packed up after about 2.5 hours, shocked that no store owners had complained.  I walked in the direction of a singing voice, and found a man outside a shop playing guitar and singing ("Karma Police," the only Radiohead song I know.)  We talked quite a bit, joined in by another man who lives on Rose St. and loves all the buskers.  The busker is Martin, an Irish guy who spent last year in Seattle.  Talked about the competition we feel with other buskers, the stupidness of Royal Mile, etc.  I felt like we are similar in our views of busking and such.  Surely we'll run into each other again.  Oh, he played once for three hours when it was -10 degrees C, which is 14  F!!!  Wow!  My record is 22, I think.

And that's all!  Just lovely day!  Another thing that was nice was older folks tipping.  Older locals.  I got a tip from an adorable old lady with white white hair, wearing all pink.  I never get tips from the elderly in the super touristy places.  Will be back here more often, I daresay.

Going to arrange "Someone Like You," "Son of a Preacher Man," "Take On Me," a John Williams medley, and, yes, "Karma Police."

Till next time!

P.S.  New videos!  http://www.youtube.com/user/sophiessqueezebox?feature=mhee

Wednesday, June 13, 2012

Torchday

Disclaimer: way past my bedtime=typos galore.  I can feel them coming, but I'm not going to edit tonight.

A lot has happened since the last post!  I had my bag stolen, won a ukulele, and saw John Legend (maybe).  Now I'll tell you all about it.

Wednesday, 13 June 2012

Last night, I went to my second Uke Boogie night.  I raved about this event in the Valentine's Day post, and I will rave about it again.  It is a wonderful monthly get-together in the basement of the adequately named "Banshee Labyrinth," a metal/punk/whatever venue with lots of secret passageways and little rooms.  The idea is that there are ukuleles aplenty, but the only rule for the stage is NGA: No Guitars Allowed.  When I went in February I was greeted by a crowd of nice, like-minded creative people, and really felt like I fit in.  But then I missed the March one because of another event, and was away for April and May, so last night was my first chance to experience this again!

It was much smaller this time, but still very nice.  I played Twin Peaks, Kaiho's Call Me, So Long Marianne, and The Final Countdown.  The acoustics were obviously very different from the street, and I couldn't get the percussion how I like it since it was so full and echoey!  Also the kazoo sounded pretty bad.  But it was nice!  Talked to other musicians, including a girl from New York who had some visa confusion so we compared notes.  The bad news about this evening was that my bag was stolen.  It was pretty much the best case scenario, since I had my wallet at the time and the thief spared my camera and accordion.  But it means I don't have a phone at the moment.  But then, in the aftermath of that, I came by a ukulele!  I won't say "won" because I don't think I won it fairly.  There was a ukulele raffled off and my numbers were called for it three times, but I guess I couldn't have it since I had already won something else.  I missed all this; I was talking to the police.  I've been thinking about learning ukulele, since guitar is too big to bring on the road but I do miss playing it, so I'm looking forward to getting started!

Today's excitement was the Olympic Torch Relay.  The torch has been touring Scotland via a convoy and runners for 26 days.  It began this morning in St. Andrews and finished up at the Edinburgh castle.  I got up this morning and began reading the live feed.  Really cool, the web people were updating the site with information about the runners, many of which were suffering from illnesses or had fought them, and about the crowds and such.  Some students recreated the famous scene from Chariots of Fire on the beach, and there was video of that.  I decided, per the suggestion of my friend Rob, to learn the theme from the aforementioned film to play once the convoy reached Edinburgh.  So I spent the first half of today listening, transcribing, transposing, and practicing.  It's actually quite easy, and a very lovely piece of music.  I feel like I've known it forever; it's hard to think, after a day of playing it, that I didn't know it this morning!  I also gave a listen to the Olympics theme, which is actually a "Bugle Fanfare," followed in most Youtube videos by the actual Olympics theme, a score I recognized only from its use in Harry Potter.  D'oh.

I wanted to busk, but I also wanted to experience the festivity.  I knew people would be lining the streets, so I equated it to Provincetown's carnival.  There is little in common between these events other than the lining of the streets, but I knew I wanted to be mobile.  Lugging my box would restrict me, and I wanted to be with the people.  So, for the first time ever, I packed my busking bag and threw in a hat.  I left my flag with my backpack on my back and my loose accordion on my front, and walked into town while practicing my new song.  Saw a cyclist get struck by a car.  But she was okay!

There wasn't too much hoopla around my neck of the woods at that time.  The convoy was to go right by my road, and I considered just staying over there.  But I was sure it would be a nice scene closer to the castle, so I headed in.  Sure enough, people were already lining the Royal Mile, with many more headed up.  I set up to busk for a little while people got settled.  It felt so free to not have anything to set up!  No signs, no boxes, no set list, no puppet (sorry, Flaca).  I had thrown in the two tambourines at the last minute, but had no kazoo.  I've never set up so quickly!  I won't talk about busking now, since most of it was after the convoy.  I'll save it all for then.

I didn't know exactly when the torch would come through town, but I reckoned I should start to look for a place to watch.  The Royal Mile was getting a bit congested, and the view wouldn't be great.  I headed instead down the convoy route in reverse, down George IV to Forest Rd.  I realized that I stupidly hadn't brought my camera and walked halfway home to get it before deciding I didn't have time and turning back.  I definitely had time.  Mainly, I just wanted the officials to hear me playing C of F.  The live feed was posting Tweets, so I went ahead and dusted off my seldom-used Twitter account to tell BBC that I had arranged the song and would be ready and waiting, playing it.  I eyed a yellow sign post that had a cement thing that I could stand on near Candlemaker Row, but settled on Forest Rd. because my friend Rob was going to maybe be there and I hoped to meet up (no phone, remember?).  (Wow, Rob, I didn't mean to give you TWO mentions.)

There was a while to wait, but no one knew how long.  I discussed the timing with two different people, but no one had a clue.  I was aware that I was on my own, in a sea of families, couples, and friend groups all gathered to watch the run together.  I couldn't even text/pretend to text with no phone!  There was another fellow across the street from me, behind the barrier, who was also on his own.  Even though he had his iPhone to play with, I took solace in the fact that someone else was there alone.  But then I visualized the possibility of actually serendipitously finding Rob in the sea of people, and thought about the expression on the guy's face when he saw that I wasn't alone after all.  He thought we were in this together!  I practiced a series of facial expressions we would exchange, across the barriers, to communicate that fact that even though I had a friend with me then, I was still often places on my own.  I even mentally nonverbally invited him to duck across the street and watch with us!  But then guess what that bastard did?  Had a friend join him.  Probably who he was texting the whole time, communicating his exact whereabouts.  Rubbing in BOTH the facts that I don't know a lot of people here and that I don't have a phone.  Have some respect!  (In case you're confused, he and I never acknowledged each other, and things like this are how I keep my mind occupied when waiting for, say, a torch.)

My section of metal barrier was soon filled by a businessman getting off work and an adorable little girl and her Spanish-speaking father.  The girl was so impatient, and happily engaged the businessman and myself in a discussion about how long it was taking.  Finally, there were signs of action.  Regular traffic slowed.  Police officers on yellow motorcycles went by.  I put on my accordion and handed the little girl a tambourine.  I slowly started playing.  But then I was drowned out by a couple of big vehicles, not unlike the annoying advert ones that you see at the Ptown carnival.  Loud pop music, women dancing.  What does this have to do with a torch?  Coca-cola, Bank of Scotland.  At least the latter gave out streamers!  It all happened very fast after that.  One yahoo in blue jeans ran down the parade route with a plastic torch, and people fell for it and took photos.  Then there were a couple of buses with the other runners and general support people.  Vehicle with a camera crew in it.  And the runner, a young man wearing white, holding the torch high as he ran amid other runners wearing grey.  And that was it!  Just a flame darting through the crowd up ahead.  No one noticed my song!!  So much for getting super famous just in time for the Olympics.  It was so nice, though, to be part of an event with so much support and excitement.  There were flags being waved, faces being painted, and a general sense of patriotism and pride in the air.  Since I'll be missing the 23948233 parades Provincetown manages to have every summer, this will do nicely.

 Here's a photo from the internet that I didn't take, just to give you an impression:



 Once the crowd dissipated I walked again towards the Royal Mile.  It was a mob scene by now, and I could hear folks discussing what they had not scene of the convoy due to the masses.  "Wait, that was it??"  Guys, there was plenty of room along the rest of the route!  I played as I walked, in case anyone in the world would recognize the song.  A man walked by with a guitar on his back and rudely stuck his fingers in his ears in response to my music.  I yelled at him.  I'm getting quite good at yelling at people; at this rate I'll fit certain people's stereotypes of crazy buskers in no time!  In contrast to that, I walked by a doorway that had an older couple peeking out.  They commented that they had food, but they needed music!  I'm not sure what the venue was, a church?  Whatever it was, they had Greek snacks.  My favorite!  They suggested I have some, but I wasn't sure exactly what the deal was so I declined.  Super nice lady though, it was good to talk to her about the event and the mayhem and everything.

I wasn't planning on busking more.  The tips had been few and far between when I busked beforehand, so I was just going to walk around the RM a little more and play relevant songs and hopefully get some comments, then go home.  I saw that the new accordion player who I mentioned in my last post was out, so I decided to stomach my issues and go talk to him.  He saw me mid-song and smiled and nodded, then afterwards sincerely asked, "Am I drowning you out?" Okay, he's a nice person.  Tom.  My plan was to just be super nice and welcoming and not mention my desire to kill him.  He said he's been in town a few days and will in fact be in town for the whole summer.  So naturally I had to abandon my plan and make a joke about killing him anyway, and he said he'd give me space :)  (This sounds totally sinister but it was really a nice interaction, we'll be fine.)  As long as he doesn't discover the Farmers' Market.  Knock on wood.  I had told him I wasn't actually busking today, but then as I continued I saw the stampede of people begin to descend the Royal Mile.  If each of these people gave me even 1p I'd be a rich person!  So I literally ran to the spot I had set up at before, Charlie Chaplin's spot by the arches, threw the hat on the ground without any feed money, and got to work.  Hopefully I didn't drown out Tom after that!

I was surprised at the small number of buskers out.  Earlier the highlander statue guy was out, as was Dieter, but that was it.  Now it was Tom and I and Scott, the new circle pitch guy.  I could see fire being thrown in the air.  There was a new statue in town, with whom I talked briefly.  He had a photography sign, which has been on my mind.  His just said "Donations for photographs, please," or something.  I interrupted his conversation with a piper to ask if the sign made a difference, and he said, "Oh yes."  I told him I'm drafting mine, and shared the idea with the pair.  The piper suggested, "Just keep it simple: camera = one fucking pound, assholes."  Sounds good to me!  I think I'll go ahead with the one I've been planning, since I spent hours on Microsoft Paint preparing its components.

Anyway, I mostly played Chariots of Fire.  Over and over and over again.  I actually learned it in record time; I had dumbed it down a little bit but the arrangement was still a bit intricate, and after my walking I was able to play it pretty well!  I was so excited, but no one was recognizing it!  I also winged the Olympics theme, which is just so momentous.  I got fully into passionate mode.  This is, of course, where you give yourself a super passionate facial expression, move with the music, use the whole bellows, change dynamics, and look longingly at passersby.  It doesn't often come out; usually just when it's a nice dark evening, I'm getting a lot of compliments that go to my head, or *gasp* during the rare occasion that I drink on the job.  I didn't expect it, but Chariots of Fire is so emotional and Bugle Fanfare is so regal that you can't just stand there looking bored while playing them.  Once I realized I was in passionate mode I really went with it, so if nothing else I had fun.  I do pity the vendors within earshot, though, since I really did loop these songs.  I played others as well, to give them a break, but tried to choose equally dramatic songs: Final Countdown, Don't Stop Me Now.  I had percussion on one foot, and really rocked it.

To make up for the small number of buskers there was a higher number of people handing out pamphlets; for shows, products, and FREE Bible Study.  Finally, usually it's so expensive!  This group's headquarters was actually right next to me, and a man came over.  Oh no, here we go again!  "Do you have a minute?" he asked.  "I guesssssssss," I responded.  "Are you a Christian?"  "No, but if that's what we're going to talk about I'd really rather keep playing, if you don't mind."  "Okay.  But would you like a pamphlet?"  "No thanks!"  That was it!  Back he went!

I think it's time for the little things:
1. A lot of people walked behind me, between me and the wall.  That was weird, it's obviously unnerving for me; just walk in front!

2. An Indian woman took her time framing the perfect photo of me, then walked away without tipping.  I followed her down the street with my glare, to no avail.  A few minutes later, she was right in front of me, and asked what that last song had been.  "Uh, the Final Countdown?"  I sang her a few bars.  "Do you know any Hindi or Bollywood songs?"  I told her I didn't.  She smiled and said, "That's okay, you sound great and deserve something!"  Dropped a £2 coin in, my first in a while!  Wow!  Didn't see that coming!

3. Hare Krishnas were out with drums and bells.  And a microphone to sing extra loud!  What is this!  I flashed them a "shhhhh" as they were going by me and I was trying to play, which did not work.

3. Since I don't have my photo sign yet, and since I was in passionate mode, I adopted the new technique of just scowling for every photo taken without a tip, looking as terrible as possible.  If they did tip after, I would offer them a new photo where I was smiling.  Good plan, right?  But no one tipped after, of course. 

4.  I did have some people stop and listen, which I never expect, so I had to play an array of songs for them.  One guy was really into the Final Countdown and Don't Stop Me Now.  Love when people recognize songs and show it!!

5.  As I was playing C of F for the millionth time, a middle-aged man began running in slow-motion.  Finally!!!  I stopped to tell him that he was the first all day to recognize it, and he and his wife revealed their surprise at this statistic in obvious American accents.  The man explained that their friend plays a little piano, but only knows this song.  Whenever he sees a piano he begins to play it, but it is always terrible.  You can count on Americans for having anecdotes about movie scores!  I was glad all that effort today paid off.

6. Little toddler in her Mom's backpack.  Mom told her, "You have one just like that at home!"  They explained it was a little toy one.  The girl piped up, "I want to play it!"  Awesome.

7. One of the best interactions ever: a man had been loitering, and he came over and just asked, "Can I ask your name."  I told him.  He identified himself, and it took a second for me to process it, because it's too awesome.  See, my family lived in Spain for one year when I was two-three years old.  My brother and I had two babysitters, whom I very faintly remember.  When I was in Spain in 2009 I got in touch with our former friends and made plans to have a grand reunion, and see everyone after nearly twenty years.  But then I broke my arm and had to go home early.  Regardless, I became Facebook friends with several of the people with whom I had been emailing, including my former babysitter Ana.  So we follow each other on Facebook!  Now we're brought up to speed.  This gentleman is Ana's boyfriend.  He's in Edinburgh for whatever reason, and Ana knows I'm here playing, so she told him to look for me.  People do that, but I'm rarely actually out when these people are roaming around.  The timing worked today, though, and meeting Carlos made me so happy!

8. After a while, the constant din of bagpipe got louder.  Some horse-mounted police officers were going by, so I thought they might be leading a procession that included pipers.  But the horses passed and the sound continued.  I saw that Tom had packed up and a piper took his place.  Come on.  I tried waving but he didn't see me.  Totally drowning me out.  I telepathically invited anyone I know to walk by so I could ask them to either alert the piper to my presence or watch my stuff.  Wait a second, what stuff??  I realized that since I had packed so lightly and because there weren't other buskers after my spot, I could just pick everything up easily and stroll over there without wasting too much time or messing up my setup.  "Hello!  I'm set up right across the street there."  "Yes, but I asked the police and they said I just had to be 50 metres away."  "Well yeah, but you're four times the volume of anyone else and you're completely drowning me out."  "Sorry, I'm 50 metres away."  Obviously he's new in town.  "Well the pipers know that they're loud so they usually play over there by the statue."  "I can't play there because of the gate."  "Well, I don't know, but I'm playing there and I can't compete with you."  "I'll move down."  Yeah, right.  Just then a tourist asked to take a photo with him, so I went back and set up again.  He did not go down.  He kept playing there.  Really pissed me off.  How come HE got a cop that knew the 50 metre rule but I hadn't the previous day?  And obviously this guy has never been drowned out.  That was the end of it.  I went to speak to him again as I left, again planning to be nice (so I'm not the enemy) but to be quite serious and strict, and again to not tell him of my intentions to kill him.  My new busker friend William came along, and he helped me by telling the guy that usually the pipers pack up (he had said "fuck off" when we practiced) at this time of day to let the other buskers have a chance.  Now that he mentioned it, I didn't usually hear pipers in the evening.  Doesn't really fit the evening mode, you know?  That worked.  The piper asked why the other buskers don't play during the day, and he said "Because we can't be heard over the pipers."  Of course he was more responsive to William than me.  I need to look more threatening.  But when he admitted that he was only in town for that day, I slipped again and joked about beating him up.  Good way to break the ice, though.  Hope I can have a few confrontation-free days of busking.

So, as you can see, unusual couple of days.  It was definitely good to go out without the box, although I missed my signs a little.  I'll have to do this more often to make it manageable!  This was exciting, but I'll be glad to have a little quiet time in the city before the real Olympics start.  And now I know a new song, fancy that!

Oh, forgot to tell you about John Legend.  Apparently he was one of the runners, I think the last one, to carry the torch for a stretch of the route.  I didn't see him run, but he must have been in the bus full of runners that went by me!

Goodnight!


Tuesday, June 12, 2012

And Jesus Was His Name-O

Before we get started, a note on the title of today's post.  In my university choir, we sang a gospel tune year after year called "Praise His Holy Name."  We're not sure if the directors knew we had done it numerous times (we had a high director turn-over rate in my time there), but it kept coming up!  This was an ironic recurring piece for a 99% white choir in a mostly atheist and Jewish institution, but we went with it.  At one point, the basses sing, "Holy Jesus, praise his name.  Oh, Hallelujah, praise his holy name."  During one dress rehearsal, our favorite bass Paul raised his hand and suggested we separate the sentences of the aforementioned line, because it sounded like they were singing, "Holy Jesus, praise his name-o."  We honored Paul's request by singing "J-E-S-U-S" to the tune of "B-I-N-G-O" for years to come.  During today's excitement that you will soon read all about, I caught myself singing this and fondly remembered that day. 

Today was a good day.  I've been getting discouraged recently, a fact I didn't really hide in my last post, so I was glad to be enjoying myself today.  My mother and I were discussing strategies to get me out there.  One was to not make a big production out of every day.  My norm (sorry, I hate that word) for busking here is my marathon Saturdays where I put on makeup and wear my piano dress and pack a lunch and stay out all day.  Naturally, this is a lot, and makes me think of excuses not to do it more days!  I decided to trick myself into busking sometimes.  Go out, in normal clothes, but bring my accordion, and just play a little.  One hour.  One hour four days a week will make me a lot more money than zero hours zero days a week.  Busking today wasn't spontaneous, but the terms were.  I have a houseguest now, Philip from Switzerland from the last post, and we were going to spend today doing Royal Mile tourist things then busk in the afternoon in New Town.  So I brought my gear and wore my dress.  But then the sun was out and the Royal Mile looked so nice that I sent Philip to see the castle on his own and set up right then.

There were some new folks out.  There are no bagpipers on weekdays, and Charlie Chaplin and Dieter were off.  There was a kid playing guitar right outside the Cathedral.  I felt bad, since there was a wedding happening so the whole crowd was in the wedding party and not paying attention to him.  Later, when I left, he was still there.  I had told him that my spot was open, but he said he was doing fine there!  Hope it picked up!  Outside the arch place there was a violin player dressed as Jack Sparrow.  He walked by me a few times, seems like a nice person.  Then....at the side of the cathedral was another accordion player.  I had actually seen him on Saturday, and back he was again.  But that's not all....he was playing Bad Romance!  SO not okay.  If my act was still just accordion I would feel more threatened, but as it my act is more the pretty box and signs and piano dress and Flaca and now the extra instruments, so the importance of my actual accordion playing has decreased.  Still a threat though.  Luckily he walked by me as well so he knows I'm here.  And watching him.

Tom was out, between shows.  Surely I've mentioned him; a great guy who does circle acts.  Met him my first day, and I always feel like he has my back.  Great person to know.  Sure enough, he told me the Police box was free, and suggested I play there.  I never had!  It's actually right across the street from my usual Saturday afternoon corner, at Cockburn and High.  So I went down there.  I chose to face the castle, so I looked up the sidewalk facing the people coming down.  I could also look to my right and see people as they came up the RM.  I really like this spot!  When I was setting up, the Sandeman's New Edinburgh tour was gathering people, so I had a nice crowd because of that for the first twenty minutes or so.  Three different employees tipped me, in addition to their crowd.  Awesome.

There was one main event today, as you got from the title.  However, there is a lot to say and there has already been a lot of block text in this post, so I will do the little things first to hopefully regain your attention before telling the main story.

Tuesday, 12 June, 2012
1.  A well-dressed woman with a cross around her neck tipped me, and stopped to talk about school.  It turns out she's from Atlanta!  The thing is though...I don't think she was biologically a woman.  I do apologize if I'm wrong, but I felt a strong sense of masculinity!

2.  Another American, a man, stopped to talk about the thing I haven't told you yet.  He said he's from Boston!  I yelled "ME TOO!" and instinctively put my hand up for a high five regardless of this man's age and formality.  He was a little taken aback, but obliged.  He told me about a person like the person I'm going to tell you about who does that thing in Downtown Crossing, and doesn't even need a microphone.  Wonder if I've seen him!

3. I saw Jack Sparrow walk by again, and quickly launched into the Pirates of the Caribbean theme song.  He smiled normally; not sure if he recognized it.  Would have been pretty epic.

4. Some folks asked me about meeting for the tour, and said they're from Brazil.  I played the opening bars to "Tico Tico" and the younger man urged his [parents] to "Samba!  Samba!"  But they didn't.

5. Todd and Scott came by, which is nice.  Todd is another circle busker, and Scott I hadn't met before.  He's really young, and apparently had just, with Todd's assistance, made his hair a bit crazy.  Tom came back over then with black all over his face from fire juggling, and tried to wipe some on Scott's hairdo.  Oh, busker hazing!

Generally speaking, things were good.  NO wedding parties, few photo-non-tippers, lots of smiles and attention.  Good flow of tips, although the final count is lower than I'd like.  Blame the guy you don't yet know about.  I like that spot, and I'm going to try to get it again soon.

Now, TODAY'S MAIN EVENT:

Very soon after I set up, I heard a loud voice coming from the other side of the police box.  I peeked around, and saw exactly what I feared: a preacher.  A man wearing red trousers had set up a speaker and was talking into his matching red microphone about Jesus.  A boy who I took to be his son looked on.  The problem was that it was LOUD, he was hogging the airspace.  I smiled and waved, assuming he hadn't noticed me and would politely move on.  But he kept talking.  So I yelled, "Excuse me, sir, you must be 50 metres away!  Would you mind moving down, please?"  Nothing.  Argh.  I had seen other buskers deal with similar folks, and I knew that they have no leg to stand on.  You can't use amplification on the street without a permit, and when you have one you must follow certain guidelines.  But what was I going to do?  I played on, as loud as I could, hoping a police officer would walk by.  Of course, none did.  Every few songs I would lean over so he could see me, and start shouting anew.  I was quite polite, just repeating the rules about being 50 meters apart, and asking nicely to please respect the laws of the city.  But he ignored me every time.  I felt so sad for the little boy; he looked at me when I spoke if the father didn't and looked so innocent!  I'm sure he would rather have just moved down a little.  I tried to think of anti-Christ songs to play, but nothing came to mind.  I really need to learn "Devil Went Down to Georgia" for such occasions. 

After a while, I saw Tom jogging down the street.  I asked, "Have you come to my rescue?" and he affirmed.  What a hero!  I love having experienced buskers to help me in these situations!  I don't know how he knew this was going on from his end of the street; maybe an anonymous third party tipped him off.  He offered to watch my stuff while I went to the police to file a complaint.  That's all it would take, he said, to get the man shut down.  I stopped mid-song to run up the street to visit the police storefront that I had never been entirely sure was real.  Of course, there was a sign that said, "Closed for lunch, 1:00-2:00."  It was 1:20.  Damn.  I went back to my spot, and saw Tom playing the two maracas that now live in my left shoe.  It was a funny sight with all my stuff out.  Wonder if he got any tips!  I told him it was closed, and he said my options were to move, live with it, go back at two, or go ahead and call the police.

My inclination was to continue to live with it, but after a few minutes I really couldn't take it anymore.  Tom had said he has called the police in similar situations many times, so I decided to take the plunge and get some justice.  So I called 999.  Of course, I couldn't hear anything over his racket, so luckily the dispatcher didn't just go ahead and send an ambulance when I was unresponsive to her.  Finally we figured out why I was calling, and I explained the situation.  I was starkly aware of my whiny American accent, and just confirmed this when she asked to describe the man's appearance.  I quickly tried to think of which is the current PC term of a person of color, and I made the quick decision to say "African-American."  Oh, shit!  "I mean...African-..."  Scottish?  British?  "He's Black."  When she asked to describe his clothing I saved myself from further embarrassment by remembering to say red "trousers" at the last second rather than red "pants."  (Pants means underwear, you yankees).  I had to guess the child's age and confirm my location.

A little while later my attention was drawn to the silence behind me before I saw the police van.  One officer was talking to the man, and the other was looking for someone, probably me.  I made myself known, and the officer came to talk to me.  I was starting to regret having made this non-emergency phone call and interrupted everyone's lunch, especially since I want to keep a low profile after having a little trouble getting back in the country after my trip.  I think the officer thought I wanted the man arrested!  I told him I just wanted him to move fifty meters down, but the officer knew nothing about the 50 metre rule.  Come on!  It's on the official city website!  He asked if I had a special license for that area.  Well, no.  But the rules are very clear!  As it is, this guy doesn't count as a musician, believe it or not, and nobody can ask him to move since it's a religious thing.  That would mean infringing on his freedom of speech.  Jesus Christ!  It's a big city, go somewhere else!!  Amplification is, however, illegal, so the compromise was that he would continue unamplified, and he said he would be moving on in about five minutes anyway.  Fine.

The officers left, and the man continued, quietly.  Great.  But it was getting louder.  He was using the microphone.  Clearly, he had just disregarded all of that and had turned the sound back up.  This is when everyone in the vicinity pow-wowed.  Yes, this was the silver lining: awesome sense of community between those afflicted by this interruption.  There were four of us: me, a man named Alessio who was selling stuff, and the two people in scary robes leading the Ghost Tours of the city.  Both of these other parties, particularly the tours, were noticing a significant drop in business since he came out.  The tour was close enough that it looked like they could be together, and you had to walk right in front of the man to get to the vendor's setup.  The ghost guy informed me that the poor son had been the one inching up the volume dial--don't bring your kid into this!!  Since it was after 2:00 he went up to tell the police again that he was violating their terms, and they said they'd come back.  They didn't anytime soon, and the pair had left by the time I packed up.

This disturbance was interesting in the grand scheme of my busking.  It was a new situation I had to deal with, but showed me how other workers and also crowds respond.  I did have my tippers comment on him as well, mentioning my "competition" and such.  It felt good to yell, something I hadn't done in a while, and allowed me to see how loud I can play.  Hopefully this guy is just passing through town!

More to say, but it's time for Uke Boogie!  Woo hoo!